A Christmas Wish
by MelodyWinters
Summary: It's Christmas time. Donnie and Mike are trying to keep the Christmas spirit with Leo's absence. And Raph is still acting like Raph. Can 3 Christmas spirits get him in the holiday mood? Yeah, I know..over done please read and review!It would mean alot!


**A Christmas Wish**

_It's Christmas time. Donnie and Mikie are trying to keep the Christmas spirit with Leo's absence. And Raph is still acting like Raph. Can 3 Christmas spirits get him in the holiday mood?? _

_Note: I do not own the characters from TMNT. Nor do I own the idea for a Christmas Carol _

"No way, Don!" snaps Raph.  
" Come on, Raphael, " Donatello pleads. " Why not?"

" Because it's a pain in the ass. Besides. There is no way I am going to go up there in the woods and freeze my shell off!"

" I can barley stand your stubbornness on a regular day. But this is not one of them. It is Christmas, for crying out loud and you do not want to take part in it?"

Raphael growls under his breath.

" Just because 'he' isn't here, doesn't give you the authority to boss me around. " The 'he ' Raphael is referring to is their oldest brother, Leonardo.

" Well, someone has to keep you in line while he is training, " Donnie retorts.

" Humph. So I'm like a kid that has to be babysat?"

" I didn't say that, " Don groans inwardly.

" You didn't have to, " Raph snorts. " Why did I have to get stuck with you, anyway?"

" Because Leo and Mikie did this last year, " Don explains impatiently. He throws his hands up in the air dramatically. " Never mind! I will do it myself." He turns and stomps out of the room.

" Fine! Be that way! Don't ever ask me for my help again!" Raph flops into a chair and smirks victoriously.

***

Once Donnie is gone, Raph heads out to the living room to watch tv. The couch is already occupied be the youngest brother.

" Whatch'ya watching, Mikie?" Raph asks casually as he crosses the floor.

" A movie, " Mikie chirps up." It's called THE REVENGE OF THE ELVES. Awesome, huh?"

Raph rolls his eyes and takes a spot on the couch next to Mikie.

" Only you, bro."

They watch the movie in silence. Raph chuckles when an elf blows off a man's head with a bazooka.

" That should put people in the Christmas spirit."

" Hey, Kib, I thought you were going to help Donnie pick out a tree? " Mikie asks. Kib, short for Kibster, was an idea Mikie came up with after watching a dog food commercial. The bulky bulldog that stomps about in the commercial reminded Mikie of Raphael. Therefore Mikie gave birth to the nickname that only himself was allowed to use.

Raph grunts. " He wanted to do it on his own, " he lies.

" Oh, " Mikie says and turns his attention back to the movie.

Raph remains next to his brother. The dark essence of the movie interests him enough to watch it to the end.

Just as the final credits are rolling, their beloved father, Splinter, enters the room.

" Hello, my sons, " he says in his gentle, Asian accent.

" Hey, Dad, " Mikie greets in his bubbly nature.

" Hey, " Raph says, offering a slight nod.

" Where is Donatello?" Master Splinter inquires.

"Picking out the Christmas tree, " Mikie answers.

Master Splinter turns his attention to his second eldest son.

" Raphael, I thought you were ... " he begins. Raph rudely interrupts.

" Yeah. I know. I was _supposed _to help him."

" And? " Master Splinter says, waiting for an explanation.

" And... I didn't go, " Raph says, his tone flat.

" Why not?"

" Look. It's only a stupid tree. Why do we even bother getting one in the first place? This whole Christmas thing is stupid, you know that! " Raph blurts out before he turns and heads towards his room. He slams the door behind him.

" What's gotten into that Dude? " Mikie asks, innocently.

" Hmmm, " Master Splinter says, thoughtfully. He can feel the pain that radiated off of Raphael's tortured soul.

" I am afraid your brother's absence is more difficult for Raphael than we know, " he explains.

Mikie bites his lower lip in thought. " We all miss Leo, Dad, " he says sadly. Then he adds, " But he is _alway_s like his around Christmas lately."

" Do not worry about your brother, Michelangelo, " Master Splinter says, trying to ease the young turtles mind. " I am sure he will feel better when Donatello returns and you all can get busy with the preparations."

Mikie knows his brother well enough to not to have faith in his father's well-meaning words. Regardless, he plays along.

" Yeah, Dad. Maybe you're right. Maybe Raph is just in a real bad mood lately, " MIkie tries to reason. Then, on a brighter note, he ads, " It is Christmas. It will blow over. " Then under his breath he adds,

" Yeah, like a tornado."

***

Mikie is fidgety as he waits for his brother to return.

" Maybe I should go see if he does need help, " he wonders.

Michelangelo puts on a coat over his shell and slips in an orange toque over his bald, green head. He heads out to where they get their Christmas tree year after year. When he enters the lot, he spots Don already stuffing the tree into the turtle van.

" Yo, Donnie. Do you need any help, dude?" he asks as he dashes over.

" Well, at least _somebody_ offered, " Don snaps angrily.

" Cool down bro, " Mikie says as he helps position the tree so it does not fall out of the back of the van.

" Sorry, Mikie, " Donnie apologizes as they hop into the cab of the van. " It's just ...I 'm so _angry_ with Raphael. He _always _brings out the worse in me. I _hate_ feeling this way."

Donnie grips the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn to a pale shade of green. Mikie can see him trembling with emotion. He hates to see any of his brothers so distraught. He believed that everybody should skateboard through life, carefree. Stress ages the body and mind, and Mikie wanted to feel young forever. He figured that was the key to great happiness.

They fall quiet for the rest of the drive back. When they get to the van's secret hideaway, Mikie helps Donnie unload the tree and drag it back to their home.

" Do _you_ know what I think is wrong with Raph?" Mikie drills Don as they trudge through he sewers.

Don shrugs. " Don't know. Don't care."

Mikie ignores his brother's negativity. " I think he is still upset over Jessie."

Jessie was a good friend of the turtles. Raph had introduced them years ago and an immediate trust was established. They all had adopted him as their brother. Jessie proved to be a good lab assistant to Donnie and an awesome video game opponent for Mikie. He brought Leo books to read; especially ones on history. For Raph, he was somebody he could just hang out with when his brothers just didn't understand.

Jessie had died last year at Christmas. While the others had gone through their grieving process, they all learned to cope with his passing in their own way. Everyone except Raph, that is. He didn't deal with it properly. As always, he kept his emotions bottled inside, torturing himself with the pain. He never gotten over the death of his best friend and the rest of the others suffered because of it.

" Whatever, " Don mumbles. " He shouldn't take it out on us. Doesn't he realize we are all dealing with things as well?"

Mikie sighs sadly. He hates the tension that erupts between his brothers.

" I wish Leo was here. " Mikie whispers. Don drops the tip of the tree he is carrying.

"Well, he isn't. Dad has him away training."

" I know, " Mikie replies. " I just wish he could have came home for a few days. Maybe that would help cheer Raph up."

Don notices the tears that developed in the corner of Mikie's eyes. His usual smile is turned downwards into a tight frown.

" Hey.. We all wish he could be here. But he isn't."

The tone in Don's voice turns softer to spare Mikie's feelings. " But the rest of us are together."

" Yeah. I know, " Mikie says. He issues a small smile. " I just wish Raph was _happy_."

" Well... Raph does have to lighten up, " Don agreed. " But I wouldn't hold my breath on that one."

Mikie nods his head. He feels sad for his hotheaded brother.

" It must be totally awful to feel so... angry all the time, " he muttered as they continue to the lair. " I think he needs to be Mikinized."

" Mikinized?" Don echoes. " I don't want to know."

Mikie flashes his sly, trademark smile.

***

The lair is quite when they return. Master Splinter is sitting in his armchair, sipping his green tea, while watching a Christmas special on the tv.

" We're back!" Mikie sings.

" Oh goodie, " Raph grumbles as he shuffles into the kitchen. He opens the fridge door and grabs a soda can.

Mikie ignores him. " I think Don has picked out the best tree yet. " They stand the tree in a corner of the room.

" It looks very nice, " Master Splinter compliments.

" Huh, "Raph grumbles. " Where did you get it? Charlie Brown's tree lot?"

Don looks at his brother. He clenches his fingers into a firm fist.

" Raphael, " Master Splinter says in a warning voice.

" I think you should give him 50 for being all grumpy, " Mikie says with a mischievous smile.

" Mikie, why I should..." Raph raises his fist, preparing to smack his little brother in the back of the head.

" Hey, dude. It was a joke. Ha ha!!" Mikie says as he dives behind their father for protection.

" Raphael, " Master Splinter repeats. " Enough."

" Humph, " Raphael snorts. He turns and walks away, chugging his soda.

" Thanks, Dad, " Mikie says.

Master Splinter does not reply. He just stares after his troubled son.

***

Mikie is the one who encourages to decorate the lair. He digs out the tattered box that contains the few decorations that they owned. With his enthusiastic energy and ninja skills, he hangs the banners and garland all over the lair. Donnie just makes the odd suggestion where to place things when asked. Raphael just sits at the table and stares at the wall.

" Now for the tree!" Mikie cheers, looking no worse for wear. Donnie, who would rather hide in his lab, cannot resist his brother's enthusiasm.

" Get the tree stand ready while I lift the tree, " Donnie tells Mikie. Then he sucks in a big breath of air and says, " Raph, can you come over here and help us?"

" Gee.... since you asked so _nicely_?" Raph replies. He narrows his eyes at his brother. " Why should I?" But a look from their father changes his mind. Reluctantly he walks over to the tree and holds it in place while Don steps back to decide the perfect spot to set it. As Don walks back to the tree to place it into the stand that Mikie had retrieved, Raph let the tree go.

" Opps. Clumsy me, " he says.

" Get this off of me!" Don says, trying to remain calm.

" What? What was that? " Raph taunts.

" Get this tree off of me!" Don finally yells, loosing his prided self-control.

" Alright, alright. No need to shout, " Raphael says as he lifts the tree off of him. Don rolls from underneath the trunk. When he stands up, he holds his arm where the trunk had struck him.

" Poor little baby got a boo boo, " Raph teases in a fake sympathetic voice.

" Clam up!" Don snaps.

" Don't get to mad now, Don. It would ruin your perfect image, " Raph snaps back.

" Why you... " Don says, raising his arm to hit him. Master Splinter walks in to the room with Mikie, who was getting the rest of the decorations for the tree.

Master Splinter sees Don. " Donatello, "he speaks in a warning voice. " What is this about?"

" It's Raphael's fault."

" Moi?" Raph asks, innocently.

" Oui. Toi!" Donnie answers, his patience is now way beyond their limits.

" Raphael? " Master Splinter asks.

" Well... you see, Dad. It's like this.... I don't want to help, " Raph answers simply.

" Why not? " Master splinter asks, disappointment in his voice.

Raph turns and starts walking towards the door. " Because I hate this stupid holiday." He grabs his trench coat and fedora hat and leaves the lair entirely.

Mikie looks down, sadly. Operation ' Get Raph in the Christmas Mood' is a total failure.

***

" Now I know why that Scrooge guy hated Christmas, " Raph mumbles to himself as he walks threw the city above his home. " What is the sense of it?"

As if to answer his question, he walks by a window with a manger scene.

" Everybody's so happy and cheerful, " he mutters. Sarcastically he adds, " I know I always feel that way when I spend so much money that I practically go bankrupt."

As he continues walking he notices families, couples, fathers and their sons. All having a great time.

Family. Brothers.

He finds himself thinking about Leo and how this Christmas is not going to be the same without him and his corny ways. He thinks back to one Christmas when they were kids. Raph was 7.

_Raph had been sick that Christmas. Sick to the point he couldn't get out of bed. Not even on Christmas day. He spent the day lying bitterly under his covers while his other brothers got to see what was in their stocking. _

_" Christmas. Whatever, " he mumbled as he pulled the red comforter over his head. He was almost back into his fevered sleep when he heard a knock on his door._

_" Go away, " Raph ordered. " I'm sick. " He fake coughs dramatically._

_" It's me, Leo, " said the soft voice on the other side of the door. " May I come in?"_

_Raph hesitated before he answered, " Whatever." _

_Leo figured that it was as close to a yes as he was going to get. He pushed the door open and stepped inside._

_" Merry Christmas, " Leo said as he crossed the room over to Raph's bed. _

_" Humph, " Raph greeted. " Well. What do you want?"_

_" I thought you would like a glass of water, " Leo said innocently. He placed the glass on his nightstand. " And I also brought you this. " He placed a red and green wrapped box next to the glass._

_Curiously, Raph pulled back the comforter from his head. He looked at the gift._

_" What's that?"_

_" A gift. For you, " Leo answered shyly. _

_" A gift? But I didn't get you anything special."_

_" It doesn't matter, " Leo said. " Open it."_

_Slowly, Raph sat up and reached for the gift. He notes how perfect it was wrapped and how Merry Christmas was written in perfect penmanship. He smirked._

_Leo._

_He ripped into the package and gasped. Inside he found a video game. A newly released video game, none the less. Raph knew it would have cost a fortune. Well.. At least a turtle's savings. _

_" Leo.. How?"_

_Leo shook his head. " I wanted you to have it."_

_" But..." Raph was at a loss for words._

_" I ... I thought it would cheer you up, " Leo admitted._

_Raph stared at the game._

_" Th.. Thanks, " he said, his voice no louder than a whisper._

_" Merry Christmas, Raph."_

_" Yeah. Merry Christmas, bro."_

That was Leo; always there whether you wanted him or not. Always doing what he thought was the right thing.

Except now.

" To hell with you, Leo, " Raph curses bitterly under his breath. I don't need you! I don't even care your not here! Do you hear me? Are you doing your freaky mind meditation ...thing? Cause I hope you can hear my thoughts right now, pal and realize what a loser you are for ditching your own family. At Christmas!"

He feels his body getting tense with anger. " _To hell with you_!" He curses as he shakes his fists angrily into the air before turning his attention back to where he is heading. He starts walking up a lonely road as it starts to snow lightly. Finally he reached a gate marked _Cemetery_. He opens the gate and steps inside. He wonders through the gravestones until he comes to the one he is looking for. It is one that he has visited many times before. He places his hand on the tombstone and wipes the snow off the inscription. It reads,_' Jessie McMan'. _It also says what all the other tombstones say. But above the name is a carved pizza, inside a heart. Jessie had strictly wanted his tombstone to be like that.  
Raph sighs as he remembers back to when he first met his best friend.

_One night while the others slept, he decided to hit the city streets. Alone. He had gotten into a fight earlier that day with Leo. He was feeling angry and had to go and blow off some steam. He flopped a ball cap on his head and hauled an old jean jacket over his shoulders. He wondered around the city, hiding behind dumpsters and in dark alleyways. His father had forbid them going to the city on their own. He had warned them it was a dangerous place to be, even for a young ninja. Raph didn't believe him. He was learning the art of invisibility and figured he was safe._  
_" Ahh.. This is boring, " he mumbled as he watched the taxi and busses wiz by and the people walk in a hurry through the streets. " Where is all the action?"_  
_As if to answer his question, a group of five teenage boys walk into the ally way he is hiding in. They are herding a girl in with them. He could tell by her cries, she was not a friend of theirs. Instinctively, he tossed an empty beer bottle, expertly hitting the one dragging her, in the head._  
_" Hey!" he shouted. The girl seized the opportunity to escape. " What. Was. That!" the teen demanded. The other four teens turned around, searching for the source of the attack. Raph hides in the darkness._  
_" Hey! Over there!"_  
_" Uh oh, " Raph gasped and started to run, getting a head start. It doesn't take him long to ditch the group. Nonetheless, he kept running through the streets and through backyards._  
_" Hahah, losers, " he chuckled after he jumped a fence, landing in someone's small yard. Suddenly, he hears a chorus of low, vicious snarls, rumbling in the darkness. " Now what?"_  
_Four very large German Rotweillers crept into view. " Ah... I had to ask!"_  
_The middle dog leapt forward as the remaining three attacked from the sides. Raphael kicked and punched furiously. He managed to send one yelping in pain. But the table soon turned and the biggest of the dogs jumped at him, knocking him backwards to the ground. The heavy dog stood on his chest, his muzzle close to Raph's face. The remaining two canines stood on either side._  
_" Maybe this wasn't such a great idea, " Raph thought to himself as he began to wish he had not left the lair. _  
_" Cinder! Moose! Angel! Off!!!" Obiently, the dogs automatically released Raph. They sat back on their haunches, watching him with leery eyes._  
_" Who's there?" asked the young male voice._  
_" Ahhhh ... I am? " Raph answered in a low and cautious voice._  
_He looked up and saw a brown curly haired young boy, no older than himself. The boy looked back at him with wonder sparkling in his green eyes._  
_" You are..."_  
_" A turtle. Yes, " Raph finished off the sentence. He noticed the now confused look in the boys face. " It's a long story." He turned his attention back to the dogs._  
_" Don't worry about them, " Jessie assured him. " My parents made sure they are very well trained. They will sit there as long as I tell them to."_  
_" That's good. " Slowly Raph stood up. " Thanks."_  
_" No problem," the boy said. " Hey.. By the way, I'm Jessie."_  
_" Raphael."_  
_And from that moment Raphael had his first human friend. One that he could trust. Jessie got to meet the others. He hung out with them regularly. He informed them about life in the city. The others, including Splinter grew to love him like family. But it was Raph that remained closer to Jessie. When he was in a bad mood Jessie could always cheer him up. He was the shoulder Raph could cry on. The person he vented to._  
_But, two years ago, Jessie had taken sick and went to the doctor for tests. The result was cancer. He didn't really know about Cancer and refused to learn. He believed that Jessie was going to get better. He stayed by his side as much as he could. Even through the brutal chemo treatments and when Jessie started to loose his hair. Raph didn't know what to do while Jessie went to the hospital. He kept visiting him, asking him, " When would you get better? When would you be able to get out and visit us?"_  
_" Soon, bro soon, " Jessie would reply sadly._  
_But he didn't better.__  
__Jessie finally died on Christmas day._  
When the news got to Raph that he had died, he went a little crazy.  
He never has been the same since. He grew colder and distant towards his own family. He refused to feel that much emotional pain again.  
" Soon, bro. Soon, " rings through his mind as he dropped to his knees in front of the grave. For the first time in a long time he cries. He cries for Leo and Jessie both.  
Christmas was a time for family.  
This year, his family was broken.

***

" We might as well finish. Raph will not even help, even if he comes back, " says Don.

" You're right, bro, " Mikie agrees. He goes to the tree and helps Donnie place it into the stand. Soon, the tree is up and ready to decorate. Mikie places the star on top before Donnie fixes the lights around the boughs. Master Splinter helps with the garland and before long the trio has most of the ornimatents adorning the tree. Most of them are Japanese, belonging to Splinter. The final remaining ornament was round with a Japanese sunset scene. It is beautiful and everybody's favorite. It was one Jessie had hand picked for Splinter one year. Splinter placed it on the tree lastly, completing the tree. Donnie plugged the lights into the electrical socket and the tree lit up brilliantly.

" Great job, my sons, " Master Splinter complements.

" I know, " Mikie boasts sarcastically. Fatigued, he flops onto the couch. Donnie joins him and together they stare up at their work.

" Now that's what I call teamwork, " Donnie jokes. Mikie raises his hand in the air for a high five. Donnie returns it. For the first time that day, he felt peaceful and forgot about Raphael.

***

By the time Raphael returns the others has already retired to their rooms for the night. He silently hangs up his coat and hat before going to bed himself.

In the morning, Mikie is the first one up, perusal. He goes to the kitchen and starts cooking pancakes for breakfast. Soon Donnie joins him.

Nobody mentions that Raphael has not appeared and nobody dares to wake him. For health reasons.

" Good morning, my sons, " Master Splinter says happily as he enters the kitchen.

" Morning, " Donnie and Mikie say in unison.

" I fixed some sushi for you, Dad, " Mikie tells him, offering him the plate.

" Thank you, Michelangelo, " Master Splinter says as he takes the plate from the counter and sits at the kitchen table.

Finally, Raph stumbles out. By the scowl on his face, he is in his usual grumpy morning mood.

" G' morning, Sunshine, " Mikie says.

" What's so good about it? " Raph asks his voice low and heavy. He grabs two pancakes and goes to the tv room.

" He is defiantly not a morning person, " Mikie states the obvious.

They finish their breakfast in silence.

" What should we do now?" Mikie asks, as he finishes drying the last plate and places it in the cupboard.

Master Splinter leans forward in his chair and looks at his two sons seriously.

" Why don't you go and try to cheer up Raphael, " he suggests.

" You got to be kidding, Dad, " Mikie chuckles.

" Yeah, " Donnie agrees. " I would rather stick my head in a lions mouth."

Master Splinter sighs and looks at his sons, disappointment evident in his eyes.

" Your brother is going through a difficult time, " he begins. They both know what he is talking about. " The both of you had dealt with our friend's passing. Raphael has not. He feels alone. He can use some company. Though he would never admit it."

Donnie groans. " Fine, Dad. We will. But I know I am not going to enjoy it."

" Donatello, " Master Splinter says. " Put yourself in his shoes."  
" I would never put myself in his shoes." He gets up and walks away from the table before he gets another lecture on how he should be nice to his crabby brother.  
Mikie follows suite.  
" Hey, Raph, " Mikie says, sitting down beside him on the couch.  
" Hey, " Raph repeats, plainly.  
" What are you watching?" Donnie asks, making an attempt to be civil.  
" Some stupid talk show, " Raph offers.  
" Where did you go last night? Why didn't you stay and get ready for Santa, dude? " Mikie asks.  
" You need to take stronger medication, " Raphael laughs.  
" What do you mean? " Mikie asks. " I believe things like.. Millie Vanilli is a myth. There is a Santa Claus."  
" Call security, " Raph hollers. " Michelangelo lost his brain!"  
" Can it, dude."  
" Who's going to make me?" challenges Raph.  
" Raphael, " Donnie snaps.  
" Ohh, look who is playing big brother. Trying to fill 'Mr. prefect's' shoes? " Raphael asks as he stands up.  
" I can't believe you are acting this way, " Donatello says in disgust.  
" Believe it, " Raph snaps back. " I don't see what the big deal is. Tomorrow is just like any other day. Oh, except you pass out gifts."  
" With your personality, it's a wonder why anybody would give you anything, " Donnie exclaims.  
" You know what? I don't really care if I do or not. " Raph and Donnie lock angry stares for a moment before he stomps out of the room.  
" I sure hope somebody got him a new attitude for Christmas, " Mikie says, trying to lighten the mood.  
" He's hopeless, " Donnie concludes as he stares helplessly in the direction Raph had taken.  
" Do not despair, Donatello, " Master Splinter says gently as he walks over to him.  
" Dad, can you talk to _Oscar the Grouch _for us?" Mikie asks.  
Master Splinter nods.  
" I think it is time I do."

***

That night when Raphael finally got to frustrated with the video game he is playing, he slams off the tv and goes out to the kitchen for a snack. Donnie and Mikie are playing a game of cards at the kitchen table. To avoid them, he quickly grabs a slice of cold left over pizza and starts towards his room.

" Raphael. " The soft voice makes him stop in his tracks.

" Yeah, " sighs Raphael.

" Please, come with me, " Master Splinter asks as he turns, leading him to his meditation room. Raphael expects to finally get a lecture of a lifetime on his recent behavior.

" Please, sit down, " Splinter invites. Raph did what he is told. Once they are settled, sitting across from each other, Splinter looks at his son sadly and sighs. " Raphael, I know you have been upset lately, but I don't think you should be taking your anger out on your brothers."

" Upset? " echoes Raph. " What do you mean upset?"

" I know you have never gotten over the death of our friend, " Splinter answers wisely. Raphael lets his head slowly drop down into his chest.

" I don't know what you are talking about, " he lies. His voice isn't burning with anger now. Instead, it is filled with emotion caused by a broken heart.

" You should not hide your feelings like this, my son. It is hard to get over a death of someone close to you. I know. I have lost my own father." Splinter pauses for a moment to reflect on his beloved Yoshi. " I know the pain that is caused by death. I wish you could harness that pain, my son. Don't let it torchor you so. You must continue living yourself. And you can do so and still remember him."

" I try, "Raph says. " But it is too hard. It is hard enough for us to meet new friends as it is, being the outcasts we are. Life is so unfair. "

" No. Life is one of the most valuable thing you have. You should not destroy it by being so disagreeable with the friends you have. It can be confusing at times.

" I understand what you are trying to say. Sort of, " Raph lies. He takes a big breath as he feels his body start to tremble. " Dad, it's just that I miss him so much. It's driving me crazy. And with Leo not here... it just feels like our family is broken or something. "

Splinter feels an emptiness himself when Raph speaks Leo's name. He, too miss his levelheaded son. But he had sent him away for his best interest. He cannot forget that or regret his descion. Ever.

Splinter reaches over and places a reassuring hand on Raphs shoulder.

" Do not worry, my son. Rember, you have your other brothers and me to help you. Please. Do not turn us away, " Splinter says in his soft and understanding voice.

" I know, Dad, " Raph admits. He doesn't move, he can't. His sadness binds him to the position he is in. Finally he looks up into his father's eyes. " I am so sorry, " His voice breaks and he starts to cry.

***

When he was done crying, Raphael gets up and goes to bed. He is in great need of a good nights sleep. As he enters his room, he feels a strange chill. He ignores it as he crawls into bed and settles under his blankets. As soon as he grows drowsy, he hears the sound of faint footsteps outside his door.

" Nobody's home, " he mumbles before he turns over on his side. He suddenly feels a presence in the room. He looks over his shoulder towards the doorway. He is stunned into silence as he sees a gloomy figure pass threw the door, into his room.

" What the... " Raph starts. " Cute, guys. Very cute. Donnie, you can turn off the hologram now! " He calls out, as he assumes it is his brothers playing a trick on him to teach him a lesson.

" I am not a hologram, " moaned the phantom. " I am very real and I have come to talk to you."

As the phantom speaks, he looks Raphael directly in the eye. " You do not believe me, do you?"

Raph turns his head and chuckles. " Well, it is pretty hard to swallow the idea of a real live ghost in my room, you know."

" Will this make you believe? " He waves his arm and Raphael's stereo blares on.

" I would take my act somewhere else, pal, if I were you."

" How about this?" asked the phantom, growing annoyed. He claps his hand and shortly after, everything is where is should be.

" Wow! You have me convinced. It would take hours for Donnie to crate some 'whatyoumacallit' thingy to clean up this room that fast, " Raph declares. " So. Who are you?"

" Ask me who I was."

" Who were you then? " Raph asks, raising his voice an octave.

" In life, I was one of your best friends."

Raph looks closely at the spectors face. He gasps.

" Jessie! You look a bit... grave, since the last time I saw you."

" Still the same, huh, " Jessie smiles.

" But why did you come? " Raph asks.

" I have been watching how you been acting ever since I passed away, Raph. I didn't really like your behavior. Either does the big guy. You turned into a regular jerk! That is not the Raph I remember." Raph continues to stare at him.

" This is bogus, " he growls. " I must have fallen asleep watching that Christmas show."

Jessie sighs. " I must speak fast, for my time is running out, " he says. " I have been sent here tonight to warn you that you still have a chance."

" What do you mean by 'a chance'?"

" Believe me, you don't want to know. Anyway, you will be haunted by three spirits. The first will arrive at one o'clock."

" Couldn't I just take them all at once and get it over with? " Raph suggests.

" I am afraid not, " Jessie replies. " Listen to what they have to say, Raph. Please."

Raph nods as he rolls his eyes. " This is all a dream. I will wake up.. and my room will be the way it was."

" Think what you will, " Jessie sighs. " But believe me, this is no dream. " He walks towards the door. " I will be seeing you."

" Yeah, " Raph says, staring after him. He shakes his head. " I have been hanging around Mikie to long. " he mumbles before crawling back into bed. He falls asleep in an instant.

***

The alarm clock buzzes at one am, exactly.

" What the hell?" Raph mumbles. " I didn't set that." He slams his fist down on top of it. When it shuts off, he turns around and tried to go back to sleep.

" Wake up, " beckons a soft voice. Raph ignores it. " Wake up!" the same voice persists.

" Ohhh, go away!" Raph snaps, tiredly.

" Get up, you shithead!" shouts the female spirit as she yanks the blankets off of him. When the cool air touches Raph's skin, he attempts to grab for his blankets. They are nowhere within reach. He sits up and looks at his new and unwelcome visitor.

" Lost?" he asks, angrily.

" That is no way to treat a lady, " she tells him.

" Who are you? " Raph asks, as he rubs his eyes.

" I am the ghost of Christmas past."

" And I am the tooth fairy!"

" I was warned I was going to have trouble with you, " she sighs.

" Alright, Casper. Prove it."

" As you wish. " She snaps her delicate fingers. They end up soaring through the sky.

" Alright, alright. That is enough. I believe you, " Raph says trying to hide the terror in his voice. She snaps her fingers again and they reappear in his room.

" What was that thing with the fingers?" he wonders, snapping his own fingers to see if anything will happen.

She sighs. " This trip is to show you the true meaning of Christmas. It is to teach you good will among men, peace on earth..."

" Okay! " Raph snaps. " Let's get this over with!" He grows impatient.

" As you wish. " Within seconds, they appear in the lair, in a time long ago.

" Hey! I remember this! We were only six, " Raphael says in awe.

" Yes. And you were not all that bad."

" HA! Don't remind me."

" Now. Let's see how you were later on." They went to the year when the turtles were nine. It was Christmas Eve and Raphael was acting mean as he snapped at everyone.

" You are one to be pitied. You went from good to worse over the years."

" Have a problem with that? " he snaps.

" No. But you do, " she replies.

" I want to go home. Now! " he demands.

" As you wish!"

Before he knew it, Raph is back in his bedroom, all by himself. " Ha! Just as I thought. It was only a dream!" He rolls over to go to sleep when he feels a hand gently touch his shoulder.

" Shit! Here we go again, " he moans as he turns around to meet the eyes belonging to a jolly looking man. The phantom glows in the darkness. Raph turns towards him and quickly shields his eyes.

" Take it down a few watts, eh?" he growls. " Who the hell are you?"

" The Ghost of Christmas present, " he bellows.

" Marvelous, " Raph says in a low tone. " Hey. Why don't I give you a twenty dollar bill for your trouble?"

" Unfortunaly, I am stuck here with you until my time is up. Which I hope is very soon."

" Me and you both, pal."

" Well, lets get going. There is no time like the present, " Raph suggests.

" I wish I could say the same."

They visit the lair once more. Mikie and Donnie are sitting in the living room. Mikie is looking at a picture of him and his brothers. He sighs sadly. Donnie tosses the remote on the couch angrily.

" I am going to bed, " he mumbles.

" Yeah, might as well, " Mikie agrees. He sits the picture back on the mantle and heads to his own room.

" See! If it wasn't for your pig headedness, they might be enjoying themselves tonight."

" Yeah, " Raph sighs. Sadly, he starts to reflect back on the Christmas eves they all shared. Splinter telling stories, cooking pizzas and staying up late as they sat around the kitchen table and talked and laughed. Raph starts to regret all the times that he had been to hard on his brothers.

" I didn't know they really cared."

" What? Why wouldn't they care? They are your brothers! They love you despite your faults."

" Hey!" Raph protests.

Next, Raph follows the spirit to Splinter's room. He should have been asleep by now. Instead, his father was awake.

" What is the matter with dad?"

" He is worried about you, of course."

Raph sighs. " I know. But we talked about it earlier."

" He is still worried if you will be filled with the Christmas spirit tomorrow. Or if you will be your same grumpy self. Think about that!"

Suddenly the clock starts to chime.

" Finally! My time is up." The spirit turns his chubby face to look at Raph. He smiles. " Bye!"

" Hey! Wait!" Raph calls out. Splinter's room fades away and Raph finds himself now on the city streets. He starts shivering because of the cold. " He could have at least dropped me off in Florida, " he mumbles as he tries to lighten the mood.

As he looks ahead, he sees a cloaked figure advancing towards him. The tall figure wore a hood over his head, hiding his face.

" Let me guess. You are the Spirit of Christmas future?"

Slowly, the spirit nods.

" Damn I am awesome!" Raph cries out. The figure raises an arm, beckoning Raphael to follow him. Suddenly, Raph gets nervous. " Umm .. What are you going to show me?"

They walk through the streets and turn down an alleyway. The figure looks up to the top of a building. With one great leap, they were on the roof. Raph looks around and sees Leo and Donnie.

" What are they up to?" Raph wonders. He steps closer to hear their conversation.

" No sign of Mikie?" Donnie asks.

Leo shakes his head sadly. " I think we are going to have to face it, Don. He's gone."

Raph is shocked. " Mikie? Gone?"

" It's all Raph's fault!" Donnie shouts angrily. " If he wasn't such a damn asshole! Mikie would never have run away! I should have stopped him!"

" Don, it is not your fault."

Donnie sits down on a pile of bricks. He looks defeated. " It had gone on far to long. I don't blame Mikie for snapping. He just had enough of all the taunting. And Raph doesn't seem to care at all. He just sits in his room all day and night. He should be out here looking for him! It is his fault!! Why couldn't _he_ run away! Then our lives would be much better!"

Raph doesn't want to hear anymore. He covers his ears and shakes his head in horror. Will Mikie run away on his account? Would his bad temper be the destruction of his family? He can't imagine his life without his bubbly brother. Even in his foulest mood, Mikie is the only one now who can break through his tough man disguise.

And did Donnie really meant it when he said he wished Raph had run away instead? Of course he did. Why would they want someone around that is so moody all the time?

Raph sighs. As much as his brothers got on his bad side, he couldn't imagine his life without them. They were his brothers, his family. No matter what.

" I guess I better change, " Raph says aloud. " I don't want this. I never did. " He turns to the mysterious spector. " Please tell me I still have time to fix this."

The spirit nods again. " You better, Raphie."

" Mikie?" Raph says. The phantom pulls back his black hood. Underneath is Mikies face. Instead of looking like his usual fun loving self, his face is tortured looking. His once sparkling baby blue eyes are now nothing more than deep, black empty sockets. Streams of blood trickle form the corners of his mouth. Raph is horrified. " No Mikie!" he shouts as he backs away, staring into the horrific looking face of his brother. Suddenly, he trips over an unknown object and falls backwards. He cries out as he keeps falling.

"Arrghhh!! " he yells. Finally the falling sensation ceases. He pats the area underneath him and cautiously opens his eyes. He finds himself sweating as he sits in the dark. Alone. He rolls over and crashes to the floor.

" Oh man, " he says as he rubs his throbbing head. He realizes that he is back in his room. Then the horrible flashbacks of what he just saw, tortures him. " Poor Mikie. And Donnie! I guess I owe them an apology for acting like an ass."

He glances at his clock. It is six o'clock in the morning. He knew the others would still be in bed. He quickly jumps to his feet and rushes out to the kitchen, where he starts cooking breakfast.

" Raphael?" Mikie asks sleepily. He rubs his eyes tiredly as he enters the kitchen. " What is the matter with you? Did you hit your head or something? Or am I dreaming?"

" No, bro. You are not dreaming, " Raph assures him. " Let's just say, I had my eyes opened up." He tosses a plate of pancakes in front of Mikie. " Lets just say, I don't want you to run away. "

" Huh?" Mikie asks, confused.

Raph sighs. " Mikie... I'm.. sorry for being such a jerk." He speaks quickly and awkwardly. Apologizes are defiantly not one of his strong points.

" Come again?" Mikie asks, in total shock. " Are you apologizing?"

Raph nods sheepishly and Mikie smiles brightly.

" I know you are not all that bad, dude, " he says and digs into his pancakes. Donnie enters next and is equally surprised to see Raph tossing pancakes at the stove.

" Raph?"

" Take a seat, Donnie, " Mikie says. " Raphie is cooking and apologizing. Enjoy the show."

" Huh?"

" Mikie is right, " Raph says as he serves Donnie a plate. " This is the start of a new me. I have been to hard on you to, Don. I want to make it up to you."

Don's jaw goes slack in disbelief.

" Yeah, I felt the same way at first, " Mikie jokes. " Shocking, isn't it."

Don remains silent, not knowing what else to say.

Suddenly, Splinter enters the room.

" Merry Christmas, my sons, " he says.

" Merry Christmas! " the guys chorus. Splinter looks at Raph, smiling happily. He feels relief.

" Boys, come with me. I have a very special gift for you."

Curiously, the guys follow their father to the living room. As they enter the room, the freeze.

" I don't know if I can take anymore surprises today!" Mikie says happily.

" Merry Christmas, guys." It is Leo.

" Leo!" Donnie exclaims. " You made is home!" Both Mikie and himself dash over and hug their oldest brother. Raph hangs back.

" Of course! I couldn't spend Christmas away from my family." He looks over at Raphael.

Raph smiles back at him. He is just as surprised to see his brother. And just as happy.

" Hey, welcome home, " Raph says.

" I couldn't desert my family on Christmas, " Leo says and winks at Raph. Suddenly Raph feels guilty, remembering the lecture he mentally gave Leo last night.

" It wouldn't be the same without you, bro, " he continues in his low, throaty voice.

He lingers behind and watches his brothers gather at the kitchen table to catch up on missing time. Splinter approaches him.

" Thanks, Dad, " Raph whispers to him. " This is the best gift. I don't want anything more."

" You are welcome," Splinter tells him. " You were right. Christmas is a time for family. It was not right to have you separated right now." Raph smiles appreciatively. " Come. I heard you you made breakfast this morning. "

Raph shrugs, nonchalantly. " Yeah. No big deal."

Splinter looks at him, wisely. " Well, I think you're brothers will appreciate what you did for them."

Raph knows he isn't talking about the golden pancakes staked on the kitchen table.

" Well, Dad. I had my eyes opened last night. It was this really weird dream, but it taught me alot."Then the tone turns back to his tough old self. " But, don't expect me to change over night. " He laughs.

Splinter chuckles as well. He is glad to see peace come to his family. Even if it is for a little while.

And that is the best Christmas gift _he_ could ever get.


End file.
